What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
