Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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