Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize