He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You can't just leave with hair like that
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
