he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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