ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
