dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What drink are we having for lunch?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
