The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
