I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
he shaved USA in his pubs
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
40s are totally the cure
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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