Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Welp...herpes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
