Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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