Sponge bath it is.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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