I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
