k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
