butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
