i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
