k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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