It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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