My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
