I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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