Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
