I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
