i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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