I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
