look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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