Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The convent might be a nice break from real life
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
