So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
