Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
