omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
vagina is talking i cant
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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