entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize