Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i love accidental penises.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize