My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
