If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
