Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
