suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
