are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
