You're so nebulous sometimes
someone threw a dead crab at me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
