Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
