dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
