do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
