Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize