No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
