Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
