What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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