Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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