I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize