it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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