So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
