you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize