mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Where is the hickey?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
