my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize