i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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