I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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