I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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