last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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