I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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