The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
