accomplished twins. life is a go
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's never too late to be topless.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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