Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize