I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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