She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
worst night to have a conscience
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
