They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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