what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
