Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
