It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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