We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
