doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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