Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
