I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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