If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
