is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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