It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
