I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She needs sedatives and a leash
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize