You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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