I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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