It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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