I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
