There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
