I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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