That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize