we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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