He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Do vagina's smell?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
