It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
