Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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