guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Are we still banned from the library?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize