If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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