Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
