It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize