Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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